House Rent Blues

So I still don't have all of my hearing back from being sick. It gets better hour by hour, but it's really not the sort of situation I'd prefer. I feel like that my hearing could return right now an I still wouldn't know it since it's been wonky for so long now. Or on the other side of things, I could retain permanent damage because I can't tell it everything came back alright. Man, ears suck.
One time I woke up with blood all over my pillow and a sensation not unlike having had several lower demons taking turns raping my eardrums. Anyways, I did the only thing I knew how and got on the bus for the hospital. It should be no surprise then that by the time I got there I was in excruciating pain.
I knew it was gonna be awhile yet before I saw a doctor. It always is. and it was understandable, considering how a guy who'd just lost a leg showed up not long after me. But still, the waiting wasn't fun. I tried to distract mysel from the pain, nothing was really working. An hour went by. Nothing. I'd go up to the desk, making sure they knew I was sill there, and that I could only bleed on my own clothes for so long until the carpet started taking a hit.
Somewhere around an hour and a half I started to make it interesting. There were all sorts of medical personnel going in and out of there, and I'd noticed a blue cooler with "University of Pittsburgh Medical Center: Marrow Retrieval Unit" printed across the side of it. I told myself that if I waited more than three hours total, I was going to steal the cooler. This wasn't the first time I'd rationalized stealing something in retribution for making me wait and/or pay too much. Already in my posession were a handbell and from the courthouse, two cones from the DMV, and a gross ogf pens from the registrar's office. Listen, I never said I wasn't petty.
So yeah, three and a half hours after I'd gotten there, I ran out of the hospital with the cooler in my hands. I didn't even open it until I got home. Its contents were less exciting than one would think. There were various chemicals (that my roommates and I decided immediately to throw out of our 8th story window) a few pairs of scissors and giant tweezers, and a giant bone chisel. I still have the last item, and it remains the deadliest thing I've ever owned, depending on how you feel about foothold traps.
Anyway, it was a stupid and grossly irresponsible act. I stole (probably) needed medical supplies so I could have a cool beer receptacle. Which I believe has sat on my back porch moving over a year ago. The point of this story, though, is not that stealing is wrong. We all know that, and my saying it isn't gonna sway you or anyone else I know from doing it if you weren't already. The point is that I'm terrible at waiting for things. Not really much payoff, is it?
So, here's some rather well known blues tracks. I had this post and writeups for other songs ready for last night, but I can't seem to access my hard drive from the box.net site. I have no idea what that even means, other than the fact that my music posts are gonna be more erratic than ever.
Anyways, I don't know if anyone else has been watching the ego trip white rapper show, but for some reason I have. There was this little white girl who was actually a pretty terrible rapper, but her hero was Vanilla Ice. No shit. Her hero was Vanilla Ice, and she carried around a picture of him, and she stuck to her guns through it. Now say what you will about her choice of hero, but I actually admired that*. I guess at some point he really helped her out of something, and she stood up for him because of that. Anyway, she got kicked off the other night. and deservedly so. But I was thinking about her refusal to budge on her love for Mr. Van Winkle. and it sorta dawned on me that white the Blues Brothers were essentially playing with one of the greatest R&B that ever existed, they were still two white men in suits aping black culture. I've discussed this before and I don't really want to get into it today, but it was a bit humbling, and I feel bad for mocking those kids, but seriously. I can get it if those idiots actually met with these kids and helped them sort something out, as Ice purportedly did, but to maintain an allegience to these guys because they do...whatever they do is just wrong.

John Lee Hooker was a bad old man, and he'd probably be the first one to tell you so. Even when he was young. That gutteral singing, and the way his guitar not so much accompanied but augmented his voice just made him so unique. It should be pointed out that the Blues Brothers movie first showed me the man, and It was something that fundamentally changed my opinion of music in general. To make things worse, this song (mixed with another one of Hooker's songs) was later covered -and charted- by George Thorogood as the first half of "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer". This version is a lot slower and drones a bit. I like if infinitely better, if only for Hooker saying "'everybody funny'. I said 'you funny, too'". Greatest suspicion ever.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, Buddy Guy is fucking crazy. Just listen to the way his frustration comes out through his playing it's incredible. I want to talk a lot more about both of these artists, but not with these songs and not with this post, so I'll get back to them later. Lazy post, I know.

"House Rent Boogie" - John Lee Hooker
Buy House Rent Boogie here
"Stone Crazy" - Buddy Guy
Buy Buddy's Blues here for cheap as shit.

I'm working on another mix for y'all, but it's gonna be awhile, since I have to find the software I used for the last few somewhere.


*This is likely to be complete shit, since as recently as yesterday, I broke out laughing at two Insane Clown Posse fans. I'm not gonna speculate on whether or not they are worse than Vanilla Ice (probably), but the point is my admiration for this poor kid is fleeting at best.

I still feel sick. Rounding a corner, though. My sinuses are starting to clear up and my cough is all but gone, but I still can barely hear out of my right ear and am preparing to rip it off. Also, I've coughed up a veritable rainbow of foul matter. I've begun painting with it and will unveil my creations at the end of the month. ewww.

-Obama has joined John Edwards and Hillary in calling for universal healthcare. While hardly surprising, it's still big news, since the three top dem contenders are all on the same page with this. Sure, the elections are still way off in the distance and anything can happen before then, but at least for now it's an issue. Even Bush has made it in issue. So I guess we're gonna at least talk about it again.

-There's been an arrest in the murder of two black teenagers in 1964 Mississippi. I think the very grounds that the man was pretending to be dead should account for his guilt.

-Oh, and the pain ray has been officially announced. I mentioned this back in the fall, and it still scares the crap out of me. The specifics on the ray's effects seem to be contradictory and intentionally vague (how can something be "not painful" but make you "feel like you are on fire. you're on fire?). and I continue to harbor a sneaking suspicion that this is more likely to be used in the US than anywhere else. They say it's

-I've been playing the BBC Climate Challenge all day. Power is addictive.

-I don't know why I've been thinking about Bonnie Tyler recently. It might be hearing Arab Strap cover "It's a Heartache" the other day. It might be having dinner with my mother the other night, who played that album pretty much nonstop until I was seven. She's more or less a female Rod Stewart (it's uncanny at times, no?) and I can't hear "Total Eclipse of the Heart" without thinking of that opening scene in Old School. Anyways, the latter has the meaty stench of Jim Steinman and always plays in my mind like a Flashdance number for suburban California moms in the mid 80s. Anyways, it was in my head all day yesterday. Now you get to chew on it for awhile.

"It's a Heartache" - Bonnie Tyler
"Total Eclipse of the Heart" - Bonie Tyler
Buy her greatest hits here.

Pink Nasty lives in Austin and sings about familiar stuff. Her brother is is a filth rapper and goes by the also ungoogle-able handle of Black Nasty. Families are funny.

"BTK Blues" - Pink Nasty

Buy Mold the Gold here

a long detailed story nobody needs to read

In college there was a girl I met my freshman year. she lived in my dorm, a smaller, out of the way building that mostly housed student athletes and science scholarships. Needless to say there wasn't a whole lot of smokers there. There was a group of about 10 that I would always see out on the porch. I was friendly with them, but not particularly close. I'm not even sure I knew all their names. But whatever, we were familiar with each other is the point.

About two years later I saw Michelle, who pretty much lived in our dorm with her boyfriend, at a house party somewhere. I never really knew her well or anything, but it was funny to see her and we struck up a conversation about who we knew in common at the party and what had become of the nighttime smoking crew. She caught me up on the whereabouts of most of them, and then told me she had broken up with Tom a few weeks before. She said it was friendly, and that they still hung out on occasion. I was impressed with this, since it was obvious that he had followed her there to school and seemed crazy about her. As the night went on we just kept having these great conversations and I was surprised that I hadn’t gotten along with her this well before. One thing led to another and before we realized it the party was out of beer and everyone was headed to the bar up the street. We ended up in the back of this caravan, and at some point she literally grabbed my by my belt and pulled me into an alleyway and started kissing me. I didn’t put up a fight. After a few minutes, she turned around and started opening the door behind her. This was her house.

We ended up in her room, which was on the first floor next to the kitchen, fooling around for awhile. At some point, I remember her asking me loudly to have sex with her. It was really awkward because I’m -to say the very least- shy about that sort of thing and also because I just didn’t really want to. To this day I couldn’t tell you why, because I was really attracted to her and there was nothing stopping me other than the antiquated notion that I at least should have bought her a drink or something. Chivalrous, I know. She settled for more fooling around and I fell asleep not long after. I woke up early the next morning and was dying of thirst so I crept out of her bed and opened the door to the kitchen. Sitting there facing the door was Tom, her serious boyfriend up until a few weeks prior, with a brooding look on his face. Wearing only a pair of pants and a look of sheer horror, I slammed the door shut before I had to say anything. This woke Michelle up.

“Jesus, why didn’t you tell me that you guys live together?” A thought flashed in my mind that I would rather climb out the window that endure the morning that seemed head of me.

“What? We broke up. Maybe now he’ll stop trying to sneak in my room at night.” I just collapsed back into bed and made myself fall asleep, hoping that everyone would be gone when I woke up so I could escape unsolicited. After another hour or so I woke up again and started looking around her room. Every wall was covered in Superchunk posters. They were a band I’d heard of, but never really listened to so I started asking Michelle about them (anything to avoid the topic of the earlier encounter) and she handed me a stack of CDs, swearing I’d like them. A few hours later I snuck out and made my way home.

And the thing is I really did like them. I sat there listening to them for hours wondering how I’d ignored everyone who had recommended them to me before. But I was a Pavement fan through and through, and had it in my head that I couldn’t be a fan of both. Much like Adidas and Puma fans, I guess. Anyway, despite the distinct feeling that I’d been used and an utter dislike of waking up in that house, I continued to call Michelle, and we’d hang out a couple times a week. Almost all of our nights would end up the same way the first, with her making obnoxiously loud requests in the bedroom and my quietly refusing them. I don’t think we ever met up outside of that party and her house, and I was desperate not to become that guy. After awhile Tom and I found ourselves sympathetic to one another. I don’t know if he found out that I was refusing to have sex with her or because he pitied me having to put up with her pushiness, but we would have quiet bowls of cereal together in the early morning, politely asking where the other hung out the night before.

We only lasted a few weeks before I found out that Michelle actually had another boyfriend, in addition to me and her ex that she lived with. It was all but over by then anyway, because I had gone through her entire Superchunk library and bought the CDs I liked for my own. I think that once that mystique was lost on me, it just seemed sort of pointless. She only wanted one thing from me and I only wanted one thing from her, and they were not the same. We drifted apart pretty quickly, and other than my occasionally bumping into Tom at the bar, I had no idea what she was up to.

A year or so later Superchunk actually played a free show down the road, and I went excitedly, despite the fact that I had little to no interest in any of their more recent albums. I kept expecting to see her there, but she didn’t show. I don’t know, maybe she wasn’t feeling it anymore. Maybe she knew I’d be there. Either way, they put on a great show that day.

I hadn't thought of that story in years, and I've certainly never told anyone all of it. I can assure you it's a lot more personal than I wanted it to get, but it's a good story that deserved telling. Maybe I'll start a series of "strange places Cotton has woken up" stories, because there's a lot of them, and most more entertaining than that.

These are from Superchunk's first singles compilation. They put out three of them total and the first two remain some of my favorite albums to listen to. The next one has a story to it as well, but I'll save that one for a rainy day. The first one is a cover song that has this great little stuttering drum beat that I never get over. The second might be the greatest admission of plagiarism ever committed to record, and the third has an all-time classic botched opening chord. Hope I didn't ruin them for you.

"Train from Kansas City" - Superchunk

"Cool" - Superchunk

"The Breadman" - Superchunk

But Tossing Seeds: Singles 1989-91 here for $13.

Regarding the picture, it's what happens when I google "red-faced." I don't know.

In looking something up for this story, I found the last thing I ever wrote for the college newspaper is still online. I wonder if I'm gonna have to live with this through my entire life.

New York Times did a nice interview with Bernie Sanders ("the first Socialist Senator since the 20s") here. It's a good read, and offers insight on what's going on in the northeast liberal movement as well as what faces any candidate that runs independant of the big 2 parties.

Woke up sick this morning. I've been dangerously close to getting sick lately, and I was just starting to get so proud of myself for avoiding the viruses that float around my home and office through judicious vitamin intake and impeccable personal hygiene. But that was shot down. So I'm reduced to a sniffling, coughing slob. Pathetic. You know what's crazy though? Until last year or so, I never got sick. I mean, outside of the hospital stays and the IV and whatever, but I never got the viruses that would go around, and I never was too sick to miss school or work. I missed plenty of both, mind you, I'm not Lou Gehrig, but still. I've gotten sick 3 times in the last year. I've also never shot blood out of my eyeballs. Here's to me not picking up that habit.
Ayways, I'm gonna go read in bed now so I can attempt to get some sleep tonight.
Something I wanted to address though before I go: I was told last night that this page is "one-sided" and "fails to tell the whole story". Yeah, that's a pretty fair assumption . The sides and opinions presented here are oviously mine and mine alone. I don't claim to be fair and I don't try to be balanced. The only reason I'm even adressing this right now is because I'm worried that I might be coming across more presumptuous than I'd like, and that is something I'm gonna try to work on, I promise. But other than that, let me know if I'm not making sense or coming off with an air of pretension, because that's the last thing I want. Other than scabies. or chiggers. or any other tiny insects that burrow in your skin.
Alright, off to bed. and death.

hearsay schmearsay

HOLEE SHIT. Are people even reading the news? This is fucking terrifying. I really don't know what to make of this. I mean, I assume the worst about the government on pretty much every possible angle, but even I didn't think that things were going to be taken this far. Wow.
I've been trying to find a clip of Lynn woolsey addressing the house the other night iregarding her bill to exit Iraq, becase I was certain that she was drunker than Paula Abdul. I ain't stupid, I know drunk talk when I see it!

Ruth Brown has such a great voice in the way she just wails out the words. Have you ever tried to sing like that? Guys can do that, too. It's okay. You can be comfortable with your manhood and still sing like a heavyset black lady. Truuuuust me. Anywho, I always think it's amazing that she isn't acknowledged as much as Etta James or Nina Simone or the like. She got pipes! Anyway, she died in the fall, so I guess this is better late then never. Expect my Ray Charles tribute in a few weeks. Anyways, here are some songs of hers.

"So Long" - Ruth Brown
"Mama, He Treats Your Daughter Mean" - Ruth Brown
"This Little Girl's Gone Rockin'" - Ruth Brown

Buy Miss Rhythm here.

Tonight Bill O'Reilly is gonna be on Colbert. Brace for disappointment.
and Kwame Brown, wha the fuck!!???

Snowball Cheney

This isn't a real post, but some things that just caught me eye.

-you have to be fucking kidding me.


oh, and if the alleged Bonnaroo lineup has any truth to it, I'm going to be pissed.

Bowel Disruptor!

Apologies for the disappearance. Since the last post I've been entertaining out of town guests and working my ass off. So there's that. I haven't even had much time to dck around on the internet, so I can't say I'm the most well informed of people at the moment. I can tell you a few things though:
-If you have a myspace page, for the love of god go here and tell them you want to see more Home Movies episodes. I broke a self-imposed exile from there just to do that. If you don't buy into that, go here and follow the instructions. Home Movies is one of my favorite TV shows ever, as evidenced here before, and I would throw up on a gravitron just to see some new episodes.
-Speaing of Myspace, I listened to a Bill Moyers lecture yesterday in which he referred to that site about 20 times in a row. You know how you can tell that something is no longer cool? When Bill Moyers is talking about it. Abandon ship. The good news, though, is that he's getting back on the teevee. I know that the tide of public sentiment has already begun to swing back towards the center, but Moyers is on about media ownership (hence the myspace) and corporate interests dominating the news. It's good to see him going back to journalism and not fake-running for president. Welcome back. Now make like Spider Jerusalem and speak the truth.
-Pitt beat UConn last night, giving me an immense amount of pleasure. It wasn't a particularly tough game or anything, I've just had beef with UConn since the days of Rip Hamilton and goddamned Khalid El-Amin, when my team missed beating the top-ranked team in the nation because of a shitty inbound pass. So yeah, I'm pleased as punch about that.
-Watch the State of the Union address next tuesday. Being the rhetoric nerd that I am, I tape this every year for study, but this one should be particlarly interesting since the new congress got there and Bush pretty much just gave them a big "fuck you". I told some people that the Dems should dip their middle fingers in blue ink just to be assholes. That, or start a slow, sarcastic clap at the end. Of course, Bush would think it was the end of Lucas and looking around for Cappy with his letter jacket*. In any case, it's gonna be worth watching.
-Dude from Smoke Signals is on SVU! I really liked him in that movie and hadn't seen him since. I was worried he'd be typecast in Sherman Alexie stories for the rest of his life. Which isn't a bad thing because he's a damned great writer, but I like the variety. Good for him.
-and on the very same SVU Kumar was a serial rapist. Curious turn of events.

The Bigger Lovers were a group from Philly that broke up a year or two ago. They run a bit poppier than my tastes, but they were capable of rocking me the fuck out at times. Their first (and in my opinion, best) album went through three or four labels and a lot of shit to be put out, so I'm posting all songs from that album today. In a sidenote, I replaced one of these guys in a job once. My demo tapes are available in the lobby.

"Catch & Release" - The Bigger Lovers
"Threadbare" - The Bigger Lovers
"Out of Site" - The Bigger Lovers

Buy How I Learned to Stop Worrying here

Jesus the Man Man show was fun but exhausting. It was like taking on an entire 5th grade wrestling team. My feet were crushed and my body is tired and I must go shower off lots of other people's sweat. I was just listening to this old Springsteen show and heard him introduce Clarence Clemons (after saying Miami Steve Van Zandt used to play with "Eddie and the What's-it-to-yas") as:

"Warden of the Cosmos, Master of the Universe (New Jersey Branch)".




I think that is fucking beautiful. Good night all.

Video Days

I never really mentioned the whole Saddam thing, did I? I meant to last week, but I guess it just sorta slipped past me. Oh well. A lot of people are pissed that there’s footage of Saddam being hanged, and I really can’t understand why. Sure, it’s not like kids should be viewing the footage, but other than that, I think people should be watching it. If we’ve got the balls to hand a man over to his death (and regardless of what Tony Snow is saying, we knew that we were doing exactly that), then I think it’s only fair that we should have to see it carried out. Do you think Texas would be so cavalier about sentencing 60 people to death a year if they had to watch them all? No, it sure as hell wouldn’t be family viewing, but being largely responsible for it,

This same principle applies to the war coverage, which is so whitewashed I suspect sometimes that these video reports are being filed from an A/V basement in Missoula instead of Baghdad. We’re waging wars. It’s no supposed to be pretty, but to gloss it over the way we have is reprehensible and totally reckless. Admittedly, it’s gotten a lot better, but for years it was painted like we were having an ice cream social over there. True journalism took a back seat to good news, which is an extremely dangerous situation. I know I say this once every two weeks, but it’s something I feel strongly about. The press in this country is an extremely powerful tool, and I just think it's time we actually used it with a conscious. Right? RIGHT?

Dolphins will totally fuck you up; Otaku no Kamisama; Axe attack date! The next great pet project for Cobra-La

and of course, the coolest video EVER

Jeanius was a Jean Grae album that she made with 9th Wonder a few years ago that still hasn't been released as far as I know. and I lost it for 18 months before finding it a few days ago. I feel like I didn't give this a proper enough listen the first time around so I've been hitting it pretty hard and I don't know how I wasn't totally enthralled by this. Anywho, I'm caught up on it now and here's some tracks from it.

"Don't Rush Me" - Jean Grae

"Stories" - Jean Grae

Buy some Jean Grae albums here

You're gonna eat lightnin'; you're gonna crap thunder

What a boring day. I mean it. Today was one of those days that is almost painless with boredom until the end, when you realize that you've got to get up tomorrow and do the whole shit again. Which isn't to say that every day is boring, but that I'm stuck in a particularly boring job at work, and the less I look at photos of orthopaedic surgery for the next 4 years, the better off I'll be. I could've started a tire fire out of boredom at the office today. But I digress.
At th Eagles' game the other night, like every home game, they play that classic scene from Rocky II where she tells him to win and Burgess Meredith, gets up and says "Well what are we waitin for?" and then, as you can imagine, everyone in the stands goes fucking crazy. It's the easiest thing in the world to do to a Philadelphia sports crowd and it even keeps them riled up for the first 8 minutes or so. Heartwarming, yes, but not what I wanted to talk about.
I haven't seen it in years, but I forgot how Meredith looks in that movie. He's scruffy, his hearing aids are clearly visible the entire time, and one might even be able to see his ear hair. You can see the his hat fraying, and the dinge on his glasses. I know that in describing it how gross that sounds and it sort of did, but it looked so fucking real. I can't remember the last time I saw someone in anything outside of a documentary that didn't look like they just got done up like a friggin' pig at the county fair. and seeing it on a jumbotron just made it that much more alarming. What happened to normal people appearing in movie and films? Are we that superficial that we can't construct an imaginary world that isn't inhabited solely by people that look like they're in a movie? I don't know.
I'm sure this wasn't the idea, that they didn't want him that dingy, but it's not. All sorts of movies from the mid '70s to the early '80s are filled with people like that, that you would pass on the street without a second thought, but up there, on the same screen you see these gorgeous people. I guess it's a good way to tell if you're in a movie or not.
Tap Tap has been kicking my ass lately. Good luck keeping that first song out of your head. They're British and indie-rock sounding, but more like the M's to me than the Arcade Fire. For what that's worth.

"100,000 Thoughts" - Tap Tap
"To Our Continuing Friendship" - Tap Tap
Lanzafame is sold out, but keep an eye for it here.

Cherry Blossom magic (in a bad way)

I woke up on friday morning feeling like a frog died in my mouth while I was sleeping. I haven't really righted myself since. Didn't do anything but read & sleep until Sat. night, when we saw Children of Men, which fucking shocked me how much I liked it. I think Clive Owen has actually impressed me more and more with every movie I've seen him in.
Last night I took my nephew to the Eagles game. He got to see at least three people get arrested and one person get the shit beaten out of him. I think I was more jarred by this than he was. Anyway, while we were driving to the stadium we talked for awhile about driving.
"What's pumping gas like?" he said, looking at me with four Starburst in his mouth. I had to think a minute before answering. I don't think I can even remember not knowing how to pump gas. Like all of those other rites of age that seem so grown up at first and now just occupy the minutiae of my life. Think I do when I'm thinking about the important stuff. You know, like shaving or smoking.
"You've never pumped gas?" I knew he hadn't ever been allowed within twenty feet of a gas pump without supervision. I wasn't sure if he knew what gas smelled like*.
"No, my dad won't let me". He sounded disapointed.
"Well, don't worry about it. Hang around your great grandmother some more and she'll have you sick of it in a week." This is no joke. I pumped her gas from when I was like nine until her next grandchild was old enough to take over.
"Really?"
"Yeah, when I was a little bit older than you. But don't think your parents are gonna let you get in the car with her. The pump's safer". Shit, teaching him to smoke next to the pump is safer.

Not the best story, I know. Anyway, the fucking killer bees are back. And they're headed for New Orleans. Seriously, how bad does that suck? What they need next is an old fashioned blizzard.
-Terry Jones wrote an article for the Guardian. Glib, but amusing. Don't bother reading the comments.
-The most interesting thing I've ever read in the New York Post. Fascinating!

For anyone wondering, I took the picture above on Saturday night. I know it's a little blurred, but it's cherry blossoms. In January. This is seriously wrong. I like to think that in twenty years we're all gonnaget a good laugh out of our president saying that global warming doesn't exist. We'll laugh at how cute it was that he had his own scientists do these little tests and hold up a beaker in front of him and tell him that global warming doesn't exist... but no, that's probably not the case. Because I can only hope by then that we're all going to be fucking pissed. I should point out that I still haven't seen An Inconvenient Truth, and probably won't for awhile. Because I'm already depressed enough thinking about it, thanks. 2007 isn't gonna do much to help that, either. Great. I though last July sucked.

Anyway, I on't know how this Langhorne Slim EP slipped past me. I thought I was checking up on his stuff pretty regularly. I was a little cocerned about his signing to V2 (for no reason at all; i mean he's kind of a hard artist to change) but if this is any indication of what his upcoming album's gonna sound like, than I am so in. Brian Deck recorded it, and I'm seriously hoping he's doing the album as well, but I'll take what I can get. I was going to put up 2 songs, but that's half the EP. So I'm just gonna put one up and you'll get an old Silver Jews track as change. Anyway, "Honey Pie" is the rocker of the bunch, the others being slower and a lot more melodic. I was trying to search this for my last post about him, but my search window appears to be gone. I am starting to hate this site. Not this one, in particular, but the whole format because A) things keep changing once I get used to them and B)I'm an idiot. Anyways, I raved about Mr. Slim awhile ago. I dig his stuff and you should too. Go see him live if you get a chance, he impressed the hell out of me.
Maybe I'll post "Restless" when his album comes out or something though, because that song has been repeating throughout Cobra-La pretty much constantly for the past few days.

"Honey Pie" - Langhorne Slim
Buy the Engine EP here

"Tennesee" - Silver Jews
Buy the Tennesee EP here for way more than you should.

flag etiquette

The flags are still at half-mast here. More than likely, I thought to myself, it was due to the municipal workers were mowing one of the parks or something. So I looked it up. we're supposed to have that up for thirty days:

(m) The flag, when flown at half-staff, should be first hoisted to the peak for an instant and then lowered to the half-staff position. The flag should be again raised to the peak before it is lowered for the day. On Memorial Day the flag should be displayed at half-staff until noon only, then raised to the top of the staff. By order of the President, the flag shall be flown at half-staff upon the death of principal figures of the United States Government and the Governor of a State, territory, or possession, as a mark of respect to their memory. In the event of the death of other officials or foreign dignitaries, the flag is to be displayed at half-staff according to Presidential instructions or orders, or in accordance with recognized customs or practices not inconsistent with law. In the event of the death of a present or former official of the government of any State, territory, or possession of the United States, the Governor of that State, territory, or possession may proclaim that the National flag shall be flown at half-staff. The flag shall be flown at half-staff 30 days from the death of the President or a former President; 10 days from the day of death of the Vice President, the Chief Justice or a retired Chief Justice of the United States, or the Speaker of the House of Representatives; from the day of death until interment of an Associate Justice of the Supreme Court, a Secretary of an executive or military department, a former Vice President, or the Governor of a State, territory, or possession; and on the day of death and the following day for a Member of Congress. The flag shall be flown at half-staff on Peace Officers Memorial Day, unless that day is also Armed Forces Day. As used in this subsection—

(1) the term “half-staff” means the position of the flag when it is one-half the distance between the top and bottom of the staff;

(2) the term “executive or military department” means any agency listed under sections 101 and 102 of title 5, United States Code; and

(3) the term “Member of Congress” means a Senator, a Representative, a Delegate, or the Resident Commissioner from Puerto Rico.

That's pretty fucking long, no? I mean, how long do you think Albert Einstein got the half-mast treatment? He was perhaps the most revered thinker or his time. He advanced our thinking so much, and still had the same guilt of diplomacy as one whose creation was used to kill hundreds of thousands. I bet he got nothing. Maybe in Princeton for a day. Yet we're gonna have our flags like tht for 30 days for Ford? That is balls, my friends.
and it's not that I'm opposed to the idea of the tradition. In fact, I think it's pretty cool. I mean, by the standard above, we'd probably only have a few days where it'd be at the peak. I think it's safe to say that politicians are the most despised people in this country at the moment. All of them. and when they die, we're gonna go out and lower our flag to half mast? Our towns and post offices and police stations are going to be asked to lower our flags when Dick Cheney dies and the giant barrier of iridescent goo that has encased this planet is shattered and he ages 700 years like that guy at the end of The Last Crusade and.... Its gonna go that way. When Howard Zinn or Bill Russell or Mel Brooks or Angela Davis or Paul Newman or shit, even Dick Winters should have more of our respect than Ted Stevens or Trent Lott's retarded ass? I want to salute people that made me proud to be an American. Oh hell no. And the President gets the final say in who we mourn for? Eff that he's already allowed to read our mail. I think we should decide as a nation who to salute with our flag placement.

"The Funeral" - Band of Horses
Buy it

Fighting off the sickness

Trying in desparation to avoid the raccoon flu that seems to be attacking everyone i know. As evident by the zinc & B-12 tablets.

Orange Juice Boner Thumb Man

Was just thinking for a minute about orange juice (the citrus extract, not the band) and how much of a sham that shit is. I was thinking to myself that they raised their prices when they started putting preservatives in it however many years back. and then, not long ago, they started charging us even more for taking them out again... it wasn't very well thought out. and upon further review I appear to be wrong on some of that. oh well.
In other news, the Philly newspapers are crumbling to pieces, the phone company will build a death star and check out John Edwards! I don't even know how universal health care is gonna play out, but that's moxie right there.
I don't know what to tell you about Young and Sexy other than they're Canadian, feature boy/girl vocals and their name has set off my spam filter twice at work. It kinda brings a wuss-rock feel to it, but it's nice late at night with a cup of tea. at least for me. Stop mocking my teeth.

I just found out I'm taking my nephew to the Eagles game this weekend, and it's going to be nuts.

"Your Enemy's Asleep" - Young and Sexy
"The Night Wears a Sombrero" - Young and Sexy
Buy Panic When You Find It here

2007: Year of the Red Pig

Yes, I am alive and well. I scraped through the holidays and my time of with a sloth-like intensity. Seriously, I got a lot of reading done, got to cook my meals, I haven't picked up a newspaper in 2 weeks... it's been nice. Which isn't to say I'm sorry I haven't been posting. I really meant to keep a pretty steady log of this time, but it would have tended to read off like I was spending my days reading Gustav Gilbert's Nuremberg Diary and researching Miller Huggins, the manager of the 1927 Yankees. Which I was doing for some reason. I also had lots of late nights and beery exhaustion.
and being stuck in a house all last weekend with 5 young kids. As the youngest of 5 kids, I know that I should be able to appreciate the situation. After all, I was a smaller pain in the ass once than I am now? Wasn't I reared in some similar fashion? Maybe, but these kids are all a lot closer in age than we were, and they were cousins who live far apart, so there's a lot more noise involved. and we can't forget that I grew up with at least half of the people that are raising these kids. So yeah it got a little frustrating. But I am back, and have a renewed vigor. Well, replace "renewed" with "present" and "vigor" with "interest in".
Sorry again for the absence, and to make that up to you, Mr. Bob Odenkirk. I can't say that these are the best of his comedy that I've heard, but he's still Bob fucking Odenkirk. Respect.

"The Happiest place on Earth" - Bob Odenkirk
"How's Your Late-Night TV Show?" - Bob Odenkirk

Buy The Un & Only here.

I don't know what I could say about Born Ruffians, other than they're a lot of fun and the singer's voice might drive you crazy either in a good way or a bad way. I like it good enough. Think of Hot Chip crossed with the Joggers or something.

"This Sentence Will Ruin/Save Your Life" - Born Ruffians
"7th Son" - Born Ruffians

Buy Born Ruffians here 4 cheep!

Anyways, Happy New Year and all that great stuff. I 'll be back regular now, only in the evening due to resolution fulfilment. Cheers.

I was driving to my grandparents' house on Sunday morning in a state of mind I'll describe as not as hung over as I expected. Which isn't to say I was feeling completely like pickled death, but I still needed a change of clothes and an xmas shower. and I was on my way to set up bags of sand and hanging last-minute lights. Otis Redding doing "Merry Christmas Baby" and it was 45 degrees outside and I had the windows open.
Anyway, I saw a kid, probably about 14, smashing his skateboard in his driveway. He'd broken it in two, and was throwing the halves out into the yards in a fury. I was obviously staring at this, possibly even slowing down to prolong my window of viewing of such an exposing moment. It was great, and I honestly felt for the kid. Which makes it even stranger that I let out this huge laugh. Which of course he heard. He looked up directly at me and froze, staring at me. I stopped laughing and tried a friendly wave before passing out of sight. I'm not sure if he saw it. Maybe he thought I was flipping him off. I don't even know. When I got to my grandmother's house she said I needed surgery on my face and where I should be standing when the bagpiper was starting up. I ignored both.
Went to several holiday parties, which did little other than remind me of how few parties I go to.
I woke up this morning with terrible stomach pain, followed by my throwing up three or four times, followed my not being able to leave the bathroom for more than ten minutes, which led to my not making it to the hospital on Christmas morning for the third time in my life. Still makes pretty good use of the holiday though. Just heard about James Brown, which is tragic. I've got a LOT of music to post, but I need some time to go through it all and think about what exactly I will be posting, so stay tuned. and I'm going to change this background sooner hopefully than later because it bothers me.

Happy holidays and enjoy the time off.

Head is pounding. I'm drinking a pot of coffee and then diving into the spangled bucket of hell that is the Christmas shopping season. Obviously, this will end well.

oh and my computer appears to be fucked.

AWESOME

I'm out of work and at the beginning of the longest vacation I've had in five years. It will be filled with stress, booze, and the eventual collapse of my own personal economy, but if will be fucking worth it if I have to rent a hot air balloon. So yeah I'd love to keepgoing on like this, but I'm off to the bar to catch the rest of this Pitt game and to commence pile-driving my sobriety into nonexistence. Cheers. I'll be back tomorrow.

There's a fucking Daytona 500 cologne?

Stumping

Listening to Robert Fisk on Democracy Now! from this morning, discussing the press and the Middle East. I don't know if it's just because they scheduled all these people in a row or the more likely reason that they're pushing for year-end donations (I got 2 emails this week and a response to an email I sent 2 months ago), but they've been stacking the guests pretty heavily this week. Monday was Howard Zinn on the history and definition of terrorism, Tuesday was Noam Chomsky delivering a mind-blowing speech on the radicalization of South America, and now Fisk. So yeah, it's nice as I'm enjoying my last couple of days before vacation.
I'm a huge fan of Fisks, always doing whatever I can to read his columns in the Independent and keeping up to speed on his books. He doesn't have the grandfatherly common sense of Zinn, or the daunting intelligence of Chomsky, Fisk has a passion that can't be denied and the experience of actually living in the Middle East for the past 30 years. Sure he has his faults, but so does everyone. Zinn seems to repeat himself often (though it's sort of hard not to with his output) and Chomsky, while I love the guy, tends to hypnotize me into deep sleep after just a few minutes of hearing his voice. It's strange like that. Anyway, I recommend checking those shows out if you got the time.
I was talking with someone over the weekend about what my end of year list was gonna look like for 2006, and considering it pretty heavily all week, and in the end I doubt I'll post it here. It's not because it's a seemingly thin year for the sort of releases I like to hear or the state of usic in general or anything like that. Well maybe it is something to do with the state of music. I find myself going to no less then 40 or 50 blogs a week to check out new music, and downloading/buying about 20 albums a month. Not to mention whatever crap I find on myspace or hype machine. That's a massive amount of music, which I find myself almost begrudgingly sifting through for something I like. I get whole albums that I barely listen the entire way through more than once or twice because I've got so much other stuff to get through. I still haven't listened to the Walkmen or Hold Steady albums more than 3 times each the whole way through, and those were easily my most anticipated albums of the year. It's just that they didn't floor me the first time around. I litened to maybe 4 rap albums all year, and the only one that really snowed me was the Ghostface one. Add this on to the fact that I've tended to listen to mostly old Springsteen bootlegs and soul music all year and I don't really get that excited to compile any sort of list, least of all in order. So I'm not gonna post one, not here at least. I go to largeheartedboy and I almost had a stroke with the amount of year-end lists there. I don't need to align myself with the 9000 people that have similar enough lists to mine that I can't really care about it. So yeah, that's what up. I will say that with enough thought, the TVOTR, Thermals and Man Man albums are the ones I've spent the most time listening to and the Tom Waits one would be the best of the year if it weren't all "old" stuff. But enough of that.
I listened to Spiritualized all morning and a skull-crushing volume. Which is really the only way to listen to them. I sort of forgot about this album for awhile, but i think it might serve as my favorite. They do such an amazing job of getting their songs out right and the production can't be fucked with. It doesn't carry the same narcot-o-drone as most of the studio albums, but sounds like some sort of communal psychic ability. The songs have the feel of a guy who has just been hit very hard with a load of drugs he didn't take, as opposed to the guy who is about to die form the drugs he took of the albums. Not quite sure about that one either, but I'll probably listen to Disc 1 again after I get through this podcast. My only real gripe is that the don't include the title track form Ladies & Gentlemen We Are Floating in Outer Space, which live is is a song too good for words. But that's hardly their fault. So fuck you, estate of Elvis Presley.

"Shine a Light" (live) - Spiritualized
"No God, Only Religion" (live) - Spiritualized
"Oh Happy Day" (live) Spiritualized

Buy Royal Albert Hall October 10, 1997 here for 3 fucking dollars, people.

I ate a big, red candle.

So Bayh is out of the race. Which is sort of surprising, considering the already sizable war chest he'd piled up. It seems that the amount of press that is shining on Obama and Clinton has already pushed them so far in the spotlight that Bayh delt he didn't have a chance. Which is a shame. Not because because I wanted him to win or anything, but to have the race so heavily dominated by 2 or 3 candidates so early in the race before it even starts just sucks.
One, because there's less variety, and narrowing our options this early is retarded and makes for a less open democracy.
Two, there's way too much time for everyone involved to fuck up. Remember how much of a lock Dean was four years ago at this time? One can never underestimate how easy it is to plummet from public favor over the stupidest things. Especially when there's nobody else to watch.
Third, it's gonna have (assuming Edwards won't be able to keep this momentum going) everyone having to choose between Clinton or Obama. Which is a lot hard for Obama than having four or five moderate dems to split up the vote.
I don't know, it's a shame. Which has me thinking about what the GOP is gonna do if Hillary does get the nomination. Can you imagine the hilarity of a "Don't vote for Hillary: her period will attract bears" campaign? Because I can assure you some nutjob scientist with a questionable background will issue a "women are more likely to break down in stress" study if she gets the nom. The scarier part is that it will probably have some effect on some idiot somewhere. Is Obama's middle name going to come up? I guess this is what we have to look forward to.
Anyway, I was trying to think of the last balding candidate we had and I got pretty wrapped up in it, because I could only think of shockingly few balding Senators. Lamarr Alexander. Sure there's a bunch of transplant people (I'm thinking Biden) and some combovers (Does McCain have a combover? sort of?), but few in the senate that are comfortable with thair gradual hair loss. Which I find disconcerting. Is it the vanity of the candidates? Do we blame the advent of TV in politics which focused much more attention on the candidates' appearance? Strangely, there's several balding Governors. What does this mean? Beats the shit out of me, but we're a vain enough people that nothing's gonna surprise me.

There's an interesting article in the NYT today about the Electricity War in Baghdad.

In other "news", Miss USA gets to do coke and underage drink and still keep her title.

Okay back to my online holiday shopping binge. I might even get this shit on time this year. Hopefully some music tonight.

Show Me the Way To Go Home

Greetings
Anyone wanna tell me why it was 60 fucking degrees outside today? in December? I swear we used to have, you know, bizzards n' shit about this time just a few years ago. I suppose I shouldn't complain, but as someone who actually factors a great deal of his laziness on the aversion of the winter chill I've grown so used to experiencing, I have to say I'm at a bit of a loss. Damnit now I'm gonna have to start being productive and the like. Meh.
So I'm officially allowed to begin celebrating the holidays now. Not that I have, mind you, but I'm open to watching xmas specials and not wishing instant paralysis on people in those santa hats. They still bother the shit out of me, but around this time of year it goes from everyone else being stupid to my being especially humbuggish. I don't mind it, really. The point is that I might post some real live Christmas songs around the weekend.
I was reading this morning about how Mary Read (among other female pirates) was forced to conceal her gender from her shipmates on account of women being bad luck at sea. I was thinking about how fascinating that whole idea is, a woman pretending to be a man among some of the most filthy and coarse men that ever lived, only to later fall in love with another woman who had formerly been under the exact same circumstance. Granted, those circumstances were a lot more common back then. Anyway, to be honest it was kind of a shitty read. I find that more often than not reading about life at sea is slightly less boring than actually living at sea. But it was such a cool premise that I was thinking I might be able to adapt it for something I was working on. I sat and wrote for a few hours until I finally thought I'd come up with something so spectacular and unique that I was really proud of myself. Until I thought about it for a few more minutes and realized that it wasn't terribly unique; that I had written the story of Billy Tipton.
I read about Billy Tipton a few years ago in one of the thousands of "strange facts" books that my mother has given to me since I was a kid. It is far more interesting than anything I'd ever come up with, so I'd recommend reading reading that instead of whatever else I'm gonna come up with here. Soo my story feel into shit, but at least you got a fun little read out of it, right?
You'd think I'd be posting "I'm a Boy" here, but alas I already did it.
I've got this weird thing about Mull Historical Society. I get so annoyed with some of his work, and then every time I'm set to outright hate his music, a song comes up that I totally get and the next thing I know I find myself listening to the rest of the album, which also annoys me until I get to the next song. Grr. Anywho, this is one of the ones I like.

"Instead" - Mull Historical Society
Buy Loss here.
Visit Mull here to piss off Colin McIntyre

I used to be a massive Superchunk fan. I guess I still am, though I greatly prefer their early albums to their later ones. And because of this, I still check out every Portastatic album as it comes out, though I haven't really enjoyed one in some time. My ipod fucking loves this song. Seriously, in the last week, it's popped up on randomly at least ten times. I wish I was even making that up. I didn't even like this song at first, it just sort of sat there. But now it's in my head and what can I do? Hopefully it'll be in your head too.

"Song for a Clock" - Portastatic
Order Be Still Please here.

The difference between the rich and the megarich.

Some scary new statistics.

The picture at the top is Elle Shields, a famous male impersonator.

TELL ME POLONIUM DON'T LOOK LIKE POO

Damnit I’m still looking for a picture of this camouflaged battleship, and damned if I can’t find it anywhere. And of course I have no idea now where I would’ve seen it (contrary to what this flirting obsession of mine might have you believe, I’m not a military buff or anything). The point is, rappers are gonna be wearing that shit in a year and I want a cut. So yeah, once again, my crap memory has me wishing I still had the book collection I had in middle school. I suppose I should be happy that I got to see it in the first place, but fuck that. From now on I’m just gonna cut whatever image I like out of a book or off a billboard or whatever and carry it around with me from now on. Either that or sue google. For a job. I’m convinced that Google will be the last of those internet companies that treat their workers retardedly well and have espresso machines at every third desk and have free backrubs and thousand dollar ergonomic chairs. I shouldn’t complain, because my current office allows dogs and always has beer in the fridge, but you know what I’m saying. Or not. I don’t know, what am I, Kreskin?
So has everyone been following the whole Tim Johnson thing? It’s pretty odd that in most of the major newspapers it was buried on like page 19, yet the blogs were freaking out today like Heinrich Himmler were getting ready to rise from the ground, licking his bloodthirsty chops in anticipation of gaining control of the Senate*
I don’t wanna be the one pissing all over the liberal parade here, but the conservatives haven’t really lost control of the Senate. The neocons might have lost control, but that might even be pushing it. There’s far more blue dog democrats than truly moderate republicans. Having one vote on the GOP means sweet fuck all in all but the most meaningless of votes (i.e. the strict party lines ones). Remember that there were Dems that voted to suspend habeus corpus. And there were Dems that voted to push Alito through. I’m happy and grateful that Senator Johnson is recovering well, but seriously people, stop spazzing out over this.
Instead, you should be thinking about how cool live with a shaving cream warmer would be.

Or wondering how many idiots have destroyed their television with a Wii already**. Can we rename this thing yet? Nintendo, I love you. You probably stunted my growth by about 4 inches along with cigarettes, but Wii is a stupid fucking name and how that got past you boggles the mind.

I don’t have anything else right now because the computer I’m currently typing this on is pretty ancient and I can’t even get it to read the files on the CDs I’m putting in as MP3s. So maybe I’ll post something later when I send Ricky that Cat Power stuff. In the meantime, though, I’m gonna have about seven work beers and get the hell out of here.

I've been listening to this William Eliott Whitmore album all day and it's fucking great. This and the Slayer box set have dominated my past day of listening. Hey, I gotta get Jesus Christ Superstar outta my head somehow, right?

Oh...

and did I mention that my ipod just got erased for the second time since... the last time I whined about this? WHAT THE BALLS IS THAT ABOUT?

Better late than ever

I spent about 2 hours last night trying to upload these effing songs with little luck, since it seems that I can connect to the internet from my house right now for about 60 seconds at a time. It kinda sucks, as you can imagine, and I stopped before I was pushed to hitting an elderly handicapped lady with my laptop. So yeah, my apologies on that.
Blockhead probably gets all sorts of Shadow comparisons, just like anyone else that makes instrumental hip-hop. and I supposer they're valid. I think that Blockhead sounds a lot more like Shadow's later work (as opposed to, say, RJD2's earlier Shadow. and Phil Collins). He does that large instrumental sound with the occasional weird-ass dialogue samples. I remember the biggest deal about Music by Cavelight was that he'd been signed to Ninja Tune without ever having performed a live show and some people were pissed about that. Fuck that. I don't need to see this guy's live show to appreciate this at all. Apparently he's gotten a lot better with his performance since then, for what it's worth. His last album, last year's Downtown Science, is one of the only NY albums that I can remember in a while that's strictly a Manhattan album. I was starting to forget that musicians even lived in Manhattan anymore. So good for him. Even stranger is how much I love to drive to this album. Because driving in Manhattan makes me want to drive into a Sbarro's or something. I'm sure it works for walking around as well, though.
The strange thing about Blockhead with me it that the more I listen to his albums, the more I realize how much i can't stand Aesop Rock's production. I mean, I think the guy's top knotch at what he does, as long as he lets this dude produce him. I was thinking about his last few albums and the only tracks that I can really get into are Blockhead's. I support you for trying out your own stuff Aes, I respect that. But let your boy do some more work! I wanted to post a few from his first album, but it looks like that one went missing at some point. A dollor for anyone who can tell me who I lent it to.

"Expiration Date" - Blockhead
"The Art of Walking" - Blockhead
"The First Snowfall" - Blockhead

Buy Downtown Science here.


American accent guides are fucking expensive.

Oh, and how 'bout this shit?

Frustrated, the State Department assigned a junior Foreign Service officer to find the names another way -- by using Google

(sigh)

some links because I read too much today:
Frank Kozik toys are great
Prison system: fucked!
More people adopt dogs than girls in China.

Tomorrow: Jesus Christ Superstar.

In which I ruminate to a frightening degree on the musical (and subsequent movie adaptation of)

Jesus Christ Superstar. I'm not really big into musicals (as evidenced by my rambling on about HMS Pinafore and The Music Man from time to time), but something about the original recording of this one this one slays me. Possibly due to that this -and a few blues songs- were the only things that ever made me pick up the bible until I took a course on it in college. It might be because Murray Head delivers one of my favorite vocal performances of all time that wasn't in a Warner Brothers' cartoon. Actually, I wanted to splice together an MP3 of just his lines* to post, but piles of laundry and fighting prevented me from doing so. Besides, I don't think anyone wants to read about JCS, much less listen to it. Maybe I'll post some Swell Maps tonight if I can get an internet connection for long enough, but no music for now. If you really want that thing drop me an email and I'll post it later.
Anyway, back to the album. Aside from Head, Deep Purple's Ian Gillian pretty much nails it as Jesus (HA GET IT??!!!), and the part where Pontius Pilate screams at Jesus still gets to me. I honestly can't recall any person in rock putting that much into a vocal take. Also, the recording has that great guitar work and weird bridges in the songs that it makes you forget that half of it sounds like it was recorded by a mindless cult of brainwashed hippies**. I don't listen to it often, but it's still something I can pop in and not feel completely embarrassed by***. I've had people find out my shamed love for this and recommend all sorts of crap, from Hair to Godspell. To which I always respond the same way. "Fuck off. Seriously."
On the radically opposite end of things, the movie remains hilariously entertaining, even if with little exception the performance as a whole is awful. But let's face it, that shit is fucking weird. It's like every bad cliche of the 70's all balled into this black hole. It's like the Tommy movie only on slightly less drugs! Well, I'm not that sure about that. I mean, we all know that the Roman Centurions did wear pink tank tops, but how are we not supposed to think that everyone is smoking heroin in that movie? I mean, you've got the gang all singing in an underground cave and following the doped-up hippie who's in love with a prostitute. You've got the high priests wearing some shit on their heads. and Herod? Actually, that shit still cracks me up. and what about the market scene? Hippies and their drugs. I could go on about the production values of this movie forever, but the point is that it's really, really hard without referencing the Mr. Show parody, which still makes me giggle my ass off. Seriously, I'm laughing at it right now as I type this.
So yeah, this was on the other night (spurning this post you're reading) and, watching it for the first time in years, noticed something I never picked up before. The guy who plays Herod was the principle in Billy Madison. He's in a whole bunch of other stuff, but how fucking hilarious is that? He doesn't even look that much different, but it was his voice that gave it away. I've got sort of a knack for voice identification, you see. My only knack outside of driving in reverse.
Some IMDBing revealed the following:
-This was the last movie Norman Jewisen made before Rollerball. Wha huh?
-the man who plays Pontius Pilate's other claim to fame is that he was schtupping Barbara Streisand when she was 17.
-Carl Anderson (who played Judas in the movie) received death threats up until his death in 2004.
-the guy who played Jesus... is still playing Jesus.
Also, the musical itself has a shocking death rate for people that accidently hang themselves playing Judas Iscatiot. How metal is that?
Shit, I wanted to get how awkward the casting must have been and how awesome the guy who played Simon's hair is during that one number of the movie, but I guess that's up to you to remember or go find out, because I've just spent waaay too much time thinking about this. So yeah, maybe I'll post those songs tonight if I get back from dinner with my parents early enough.

*Sadly, I've done this before, for a tape in 1994. the current whereabouts of said tape are unknown.
** Note: Contact Tim DeLaughter about re-recording this. Fine print in contract to make sure that I get a cut of the royalties. and not that 23 member band shit. I want a chunk.
***This is not true. This is probably the only CD I don't like to listen to in the car. Especially with other people.

I really really want to buy Chinese-Born American, but won't do so until after xmas. But I recommend it to everyone. Monkey King!

Also, Soy makes you gay!

I've been looking for this pattern of Naval Camouflage all morning but can't find it. I'm worried I must've dreamt it up. Shit. Anyways, Naval Camouflage is really fucking interesting, largely because it's mased more around tricking the brain more than the eyes. They used all these seemingly retarded patterns (I have no idea to what effect they worked) and I suppose continue to experiment with it today. There's an interesting article here, but I'm still gonna keep looking for this one picture, because by page 19 of a google search on "Naval Camouflage", I still haven't seen anything like it. It's something like this though:

Pinochet is dead.

Good. That's terrible, I know. But that motherfucker deserves far worse than house arrest for a few years. I have nothing but contempt for leaders that do the sort of things to their people that he did, and I've got nothing but shame for being from a country that put that shitheel into power. That's how we spread freedom; by overthrowing democratically elected leaders and letting their replacements fucking murder people. You know, that's bad enough. But how is Kissinger still advising the leaders of this country? How is that guy not in a cell? That guy should've been devoured by a plague-like swarm of Jiminy Crickets conjured into existence by the black hole of karma that that man carries around with him? Remember that Disney xmas special? Where's that little bastard when you need him. He goes after cheap bosses but not war criminals? Straighten out your priorities, little man.
I just wanted to check in because my mobile posts are not working anymore, but seem to be going to someone else's little dealie. what the shit is that? Hopefully, I'll have resolved the problem by this afternoon. I'll probably post some Blockhead songs later today because those albums have been playing constantly in Cobra-La. ad because that's all I have in front of my right now.

Question: Would it be funnier to fork-stab a drunken, groping Santa Claus or to taser him? Personally, I think a taser -what with the smoking beard and convulsions- but that might just be my irrational dislike of Santas. and electricity.
I love forks though.

Winterproofing

I'm working on a post, but it'll be a while before I finish it. It's gonna be a long day.

Penguin Freud - Mono

Buy Formica Blues here.

Fog now, though, my favorite Onion byline ever: Winterized pet.

"Hurtful J. Cavity!"

It's goddamned freezing outside. Seriously, I wanna sleep in the office tonight just to prevent having to dig a tunnel home. I just walked down to the post office and had to endure that hell, but the highlight was that as I was walking back, I stopped into the dollar store wondering if they had toothpaste because I ran out at work. Not only did they have toothpaste, but they had Aim,
which I'm certain I haven't seen in years, and I just assumed they stopped making it. This was sort of sad for me, because in addition to having some of the best commercials that the mid-80s had to offer, I love the logo design. It's not often that I notice that sort of thing, because I have the attention span of a jittery squirrel, but when I do notice this sort of thing, it tends to stick with me*. I had a book once as a kid that showed how all these household products are made and packaged, and I must've read it a couple times at least, but the two things that stuck out the most in my brain were the pictures of Aim getting put into the tubes and the making of Girl Scout Samoas. In retrospect, it was really cool and I wish I had held on to that Time/Life book. I guess I should be pretty psyched that they didn't show me how they make chicken nuggets or whatever.
Anyway, this begged the question of is it wise to use potentially inferior and probably expired** dental care products out of some misguided brand loyalty based on design and commercial scheme from my childhood? Of course not. I mean, I'm not a complete idiot. But this is only for my work brushing and my nagging urges to support companies that aren't monopolizing their respective businesses. but I've mentioned this before. Sadly, googling "AIM" brings up these happy little fellows:
Air to air missiles, instead of happy toothpaste or happy Native American interest groups. Come to think of it, I don't know how happy those guys are. I don't blame 'em.
So this is one of my favorite songs of all time. Yep. Another one. This one was in fact unreleased up intil 1998 or something, and the version that was released sort of sucked balls. It wasn't terrible, and it definitely served to remind me that I had (and still have) a cassette that I dubbed from the radio one day while cutting school in 1995 and heard they were going to play this lost recording from the Main Point in Bryn Mawr in the early 70s*** . I sat at home missing an English test so I could record 4 songs to surprise my dad with. I've never told him about that, though I'm sure he's pieced it together from the anounders repeatedly saying "coming up at 1 o'clock!". To this day, I've never been more excited to give someone a present in my life. I don't know if I'll ever surpass that.
I ran that tape into the ground. I dubbed it like 6 times so I wouldn't lose it. When my tapes became obsolete (outside of my car), I'd just figured I was screwed. But I found this the other night and wigged out.
This version is a bit earlier from the one I remember, though is practically a clone with the exception of what I think are female backing vocals on this one. It's a silly, dancing song with an absurdly long guitar solo and what might be the greatest introductions of a band ever. These are always different, and I can't imagine how much time Bruce spent with a notebook thinking "what the hell can I say about Danny tonight?". In any case, I can't hear a live version of this song without fucking beaming. It reminds me of going to a park and dancing at night to a car radio with an old girlfriend. and it reminds me of how great it feels to have the perfect gift for someone that wasn't about money, but didn't come easy.
"Thundercrack" (live) - Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band
that song is huge, so I had to put it on sendspace. Someone holler at me if the link expires and I'll re-up it.

I bought this album because of the Go! Team connection, but I fucking hated the single and thought that I had just wasted some money. But the rest of it has grown on me and I this song has been entertaining the hell out of me while doing dishes and in the car, so it's gotta be good, right? Those are pretty much the greatest tests you can give music. So yeah.
"Monster" - Ladyfuzz
Buy Kerfuffle here.




*Mental note: make list, greatest product logos of all time. post. Compare with others.
**It turns out that they still make Aim, though I can't determine on what kind of scale.
*** This was from a different show than the Beach Boys cover I posted awhile back. But check out the memory on you!

Carrot Top = diplomacy?

I'm really confused right now, because they gave me sweet & sour sauce with my crab rangoon. What's up with that? Is this normal? I almost never eat this outside of the joint in Pitttsburgh, because it's so fucking good there that it just makes everything else taste like cat pee. But when a fella craves faux-Chinese food, he goes across the street to the shithole for some fried cream cheese and imitation crabmeat. What can ya do?
It's been a very, very rough couple of days, and while I might spill it all out right here, I won't because a)you don't deserve that and b)Im not sure I'm capable of it. Needless to say, things are stressing me out. On top of that, AM radio is fucking psycho, Polonuim 210 is in my cigarettes (seriously?), and Arlen Specter is still doin that shimmy. 2 to 1 he gets reelected in 2 years.
on a much happier note, the mustachioed witch of the east is stepping the fuck down after sneaking his way into the back door of the UN to grandstand and piss everyone off for the past 15 months without approval. So we all got that going for us, let's hope we don't fuck it up. I suggest sending in that delightful Carrot Top* to replace him so we can get everyone laughing again. My feelings on the UN are mixed at best, but I still don't want that dick being my rep there, you know? Also, I just put the greatest Conan biever t that didn't involve a masturbating bear onto my ipod. and it's been cracking me up all morning. Watch/download it here.

I lost or gave away this Ron Sexsmith at some point and I really started missing it a few months ago. It's a great album, possibly my favorite of his, though he hasn't really made an album I didn't like (except maybe Retriever, which I'm also missing). But I still distinctly remember putting this CD in and being so knocked out by the first two songs (below, in order) that I was trying to shove it off on everyone I knew. and I wonder how I lost it. Anyways, here I am four years later doint the exact same thing. So much for growing up.
I'm looking now and seriously thinking about buying every Trailer Park Boys episode ever on DVD. Someone convince me it's not worth $230. Speaking of which, I wonder if Ron Sexsmith speaks with a heavy Canadian accent. Probably not.

"Former Glory" - Ron Sexsmith

"These Days" - Ron Sexsmith
Buy Cobblestone Runway here.

*yes, I opted for a pic of the pre-mutant strength CT. I want to sleep in the next week, thanks.

I've been trying all night to send pics from the Army/Navy game, with zero luck. I've also been trying to make sense of whe stuff I wrote last night and lost before saving. I'm left with a single phrase, dusty, crippled hope. and it's up to me to figure out what the fuck I meant by that. I really like it, but seriously, I need to start setting myselff up better than that. Any help might be appreciated. might.

For now, though, I'm watching Dave Chappelle interview Maya Angelou, which is effing awesome. And for me, that's pretty much the best I can get. love y'all.

Army vs Navy

This is nuts. And im freezing my ass off.

Bigfoot Vs. Yeti

It's totally obvious who would win this thing. I mean come on, the Bigfoot talks n' shit! The Yeti is just some dumbass bear. Thanks for nothing, Tibet. No wonder China hates you guys so much. None of this matters, though, because it's obvious that neither of these cryptozoological powerhouses could hold a candle to the might of the motherfuckin' Kraken.

Also, this menehune wikipedia antry cracks me up:

In Hawaiian mythology, the menehune [pronounced meh-nay-HOO-nay] are said to be a people, sometimes described as small in size, who live in the deep forests and hidden valleys of the Hawaiian islands, far from the eyes of normal humans. Their favorite food is the mai'a (banana).

They're favorite food? are you kidding me? Was someone analyzing their droppings? Hawaii's new state slogan should be "just because we're over 2,000 miles away, but still just as retarded as the rest of the country".

I've tried to reformat this twice so the pictures line up, but that shit ain't happening. Oh well.