Sunday, September 30, 2007

I hate all Iranians, US aide tells MPs

Are you fucking kidding me? Is this really the sort of person that is representing all of us to our allies? Anybody who is stupid enough to say things like this should be cleaning up after farm animals. Seriously, what is wrong with these people?

In related news, Sy Hersh pointed out just how bad of an idea it is to bomb Iran right now, though it seems increasingly unavoidable with the swheer amount of fatheaded sabre-rattling that is happening right now. Prepare to be fighting 3 wars. Prepare for more death. Prepare for an entire region of the world to pray for our own deaths because we were prodded as a country into fear and hysteria by a group of insanely rich white men who want to make even more money and perpetuate this completely backwards and aggressive state of being. How many times can we learn the same lesson before we actually remember it?

I just erased a multi-page rant about how sick of this shit i'm getting, but honestly, there's no need to go through that again. I just don't know how anyone can actually be ready for more war at this point. Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Useless Mountain Rant

So, as I've stated before, the move from Pennsylvania with a moderate amount of friends to California with no friends but many healthy acquaintances, I find myself being slightly more assertive with my time, which includes going hiking and eating risotto-and-kale dinners. and I find myself in at 11 PM on a saturday night, which I cound not have been convinced as recently as one year ago that I would ever stand for.
If I had a brain I'd be going to bed (my lovely wife is snoring next to me as I type this) or at least try to get another few scenes written for this Big Worthless Project. but instead I know I'll stay up and read the rest of these comics and have a Fat Tire or two. I rented the DVD copy of Rude Boy, and I'm wondering if the extras will be as great as I'm hoping (a recent interview with Johnny Green!). As a completely random aside, I want to know who the production designer for Stranger Than Fiction was and how I can con them into designing living space for me. This week I need to think about picking up tickets to go home for the holidays and what the hell I'm going to do with myself when I'm there. I'm just realizing that I don't even know where I'll stay. not even what state. bah.

I just watched SNL and for the umpteenth consecutive time I've felt completely ripped off and pissed that I actually wasted my time on this fucking show. I really like Lebron AND Kanye West, and this was still massively disappointed (other than the awesome skit about Kanye's Awards Show behavior and the Lebron guidance counselor bit, both buried in the last half hour). And I get the feeling that in the very least that I'll at least tape the Seth Rogen/Spoon show next week. What a sucker.

My TiVo is convinced that I'm an elderly black man. I shit you not, I've got more Matlock and Sherman Helmsley than one would ever want lined up on this bitch. What the hell am I supposed to do with that?

"If I hear this "If You Want it )Here it is" Saturn ad one more time I'm going to burn down Paul McCartney's America-loving ass.

Is it a coincidence that with Fred Thmompson's political flameout that the Fox Movie Channel has been airing Die Hard 2 lately? Just a thought. Go patriotism.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

The same. sort of.

i was at the mall when it happened

So after working on it for about 6 of my last 8 waking hours, I've managed to put together one mix. I have the other one three-quarters done, but don't hold your breath for it because this one was goddamned infuriating to make. I like it a lot, though, and haven't gotten tired of listening to any of these songs despite having to re-load and re-sequence them more times than I care to think back on. The forthcoming mix will have some older stuff on there and hopefully not as many creepy samples, but I'm not going to make any promises on that latter point. I know this posting has been erratic lately, and the link fever of yesterday was probably annoying if not frustrating with the same-colored font. Pretty much everything with a chip in it lately has been acting up on my in the last week or two, including my brain and robotic arm. Also, it looks like I won't get to go to the demolition derby tonight because I gotta do something for work, so boo on that. Anyway, I'm hoping this thing will load okay for you, and the artwork seems to have messed me up some, but the biggest problem is that the sound quality is sort of screwy. I didn't mix this all together because I know some people won't like some of these songs here, but as a result things can go from very loud to very quiet and I just wanna give you the heads up.
Anyways, enjoy. It's slit up into 2 parts again because Mediafire doesn't like me. Those bastards. The title is from a Doug Coupland end-of-the-world story.

i was at the mall when it happened
On That New Thing - Madlib
We're a Winner - Curtis Mayfield & The Impressions
Lamb of the Lam (In the City) - Band of Horses
No Time to Chill (f. Little Brother) - 9th Wonder
Tea Leaf Dancers -Flying Lotus
Heavyweight Champion of the World - Reverend & the Makers
Could Be Worse
- Eef Barzelay
What'd I Say - Elvis Presley
Aretha, sing One for Me - George Jackson
The Sweeping Wind (Kwa Ti Feng) - Jonathan Richman & the Modern Lovers
Mercy, Mercy - Don Covay
The Hand that Leads You - Percee P
Accordian for Raj - Madlib
Heartbreak - Celebration
Backed Out in the... - Kevin Drew
Window - Double Deuce
I'm Sorry for Saying I'm Sorry - The Arrivals
Wrigley Scott - Future of the Left
Setting Vs. Rising - Sunset Rubdown
Children of War - Buffalo Killers
I Wish I Knew (How It Would Feel To Be Free)
total run time: 1:01:23

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

The Dog Shouterer

Want a lick? PSYCH!

Last night we were at the bar talking with a guy and his dog, which was adorably reminiscent of a bear cub. Anyway, as we're hanging out and having a beer or two, this guy stumbles out of the bar (I'm pretty certain that 2 of his friends were just thrown out of the bar) and kneels down in front of the dog and looks up at us, slurring "Watch this! Watch this! My cousin is Cesar Romero!"
All 3 of us: "who?"

: "Cesar Romero"
Me: "The guy who played the Joker?"

: "No, the dog whisperer, man!"
Dog Owner: "I think his name is Cesar Millan"

: "I think I know what my cousins name is"
Then he proceeds to shout in this little dogs face and struggle to maintain upright for a few minutes. At one point he loses his balance and smacks his head on the side of the building. His friends are yelling back at him telling him to hurry up.

(to his friends): "Goddamnit in a minute!I'm doing my dog trick" (and then back to us) "watch this" This went on for a few more minutes. Then the drunk guys ran their friend into a plate glass window (it didn't break) and got in a truck and drove off. Terror on the road in Claremont last night.

Rented the Tarentino half of Grindhouse last night, hoping to see the fake trailer that Edgar Wright made for the release, but was soundly disappointed that none of the fake trailers made it to the DVDs. Then I got treated to 2 hours of Tarentino's foot fetish. This is getting out of control. Make a goddamned real movie already. Quit delaying the inevitable.

So, remember when I said I was gonna make a mix in a week...urm, 2 weeks ago? Well, last night I sat down to actually get things all set up and decided I have about 2 mixes worth of stuff at least. This is largely because I got about 250 of the weirdest and therefore most usable audio clips I've heard in awhile and god knows I love filler. Anywhy, this morning I wiped my ipod after copying all of this, so this so-called mix project is still coming, it just might be a few days. For real this time. I have sequencing worked out and everything.

You can now get fined for puking in bars in PA. Blammo!


Japanese peeping toms!

Ninjas. The threat is fucking real already! If I find out that this is someone I know from college +10 points.

oh dear god!

you know what gets me homesick? Ridley trash fires!

You know who I don't want asleep? The people guarding NUCLEAR REACTORS. The dudes in Art museums are like spry cougars, but put someone in charge of something that can melt my family and it's bedtime for bonzo.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

"a sweet boyfriend who will bring her presents."

Why does it seem like every single man in a position of power in this country seems to be actively involved in trying to HAVE SEX WITH OUR CHILDREN? Bloody hell, this is ridiculous. a 5 year-old girl? What's worse is when he will invariably try to pin this on drugs/alcohol/hippies and then find jeebus in an effort to soften his punishment. No dice, Chachi. Hope prison is impossibly cruel to you.

"Don't diss my homies"

While Greenspan did just admit that the war is, after all this, about oil. But Ray McGovern (a former CIA analyst who has gotten arrested countless times in the last few years for trying to call these guys out on their bullshit) has a great article here delving deeper into this and proving for real that as high and mighty it is to tell the world, to tell our soldiers, that we're fighting for an ideal that we can't even maintain on our own shores, they're in it to make a lot of money for some already superfluously wealthy fat white men. shocking, I know.

"Wait until they've heard what I can make up this time. Obama bin Laden!"

As excited as I am for TV to start back up, between OJ 2 (threat-filled boogaloo) and Alan Keyes announcing that he's gonna run for president again, the next few months just got hilarious. Cue the goddamn carnival music.

blech. fun fact! There are both male and female pine cones. and Giant Sequoia cones are no bigger than eggs! fascinating!

Funner fact! Donald the Duck's middle name is "Fauntleroy", which has cracked me up consistently for the past few days.

I'm still making that mix. I keep getting new music though so I want to sort through this becore I make a final list. Keep an eye out.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

300 (not the homoerotic comic book adaptation)

2/3 of the world's Polar Bears will be gone by 2050. You think that's depressing? Also, every single dog you've ever met on this earth will be dead. Terrible, I know.

Another to be filed under perpetual doom and hysteria:

Notice: Continuation of the National Emergency with Respect to Certain Terrorist Attacks

Consistent with section 202(d) of the National Emergencies Act (50 U.S.C. 1622(d)), I am continuing for 1 year the national emergency I declared on September 14, 2001, in Proclamation 7463, with respect to the terrorist attacks at the World Trade Center, New York, New York, the Pentagon, and aboard United Airlines flight 93, and the continuing and immediate threat of further attacks on the United States.

Because the terrorist threat continues, the national emergency declared on September 14, 2001, last extended on September 5, 2006, and the powers and authorities adopted to deal with that emergency, must continue in effect beyond September 14, 2007. Therefore, I am continuing in effect for an additional year the national emergency I declared on September 14, 2001, with respect to the terrorist threat.

This notice shall be published in the Federal Register and transmitted to the Congress.


300 posts. sweet jesus that seems like I've wasted a lot of time. I was going to post another mix up this week, since both of you that downloaded it seem to have enjoyed it so far. This will be an older son-oriented, single track mix, but that'll have to wait a bit, because my desk at work is weeping from the amount of shit I've placed on top of it.

Anyway, Nelson sent me this link of abandoned plane wrecks of the North, which is probably the most entertaining site I've been to in weeks.

and keeping in line with my Soviet Russia fascination, here's a fucking awesome site devoted to the posters of that era.

other than that I got nothing but to get back to work. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia premieres tonight, and for the love of fun please watch it, because I want to be able to enjoy it in the future and it needs you to do that. Anywho, it's supposed to shoot back above 100 this weekend here, so who knows, maybe I'll be pushed into making that mix sooner than later. ta.

Friday, September 07, 2007

I'm frantic like a bastard today, and just had the following conversation:
I'm in one room trying to quietly grab my lunch from out the fridge when I overhear 2 of the people I'm on a holiday party planning committee (that I clearly did not volunteer for) with. I overhear them talking about the party:
co-worker 1: We should call Cotton in here so he can get caught up
so of course I pick up me pace and start ti tiptoe out of the kitchenette with my salad.
co-worker 2: Cotton, can you come here a second?
my brain: goddamnit!
me: um, okay. I'm just getting ready to eat my lunch though.
co-worker 1: okay, we'll be quick then. We were going over the budget, and-
my brain: awwwwwww. there's no fucking way this will be quick. just run out of the room. quick! ABORT! ABORT!
co-worker 2: Since we're paying so much for a band we were thinking you could break the contract with them that we all agreed to
me: I'm not sure if we should do that, for the obvious reasons.
my brain: this will so result in my getting drunk tonight.


anyway, Lucy: Daughter of the Devil premieres all over this weekend on Adult Swim. This is written and directed by Loren Bouchard, who was about half of the creative force behind what might be my all-time favorite TV show, Home Movies. He's the half that didn't go on to do Metaloclypse, which is also awesome. Anyway, Lucy is a lot more like HM from what I've seen of it, and has already resulted my totally having a crush on a second cartoon character.

Go watch the pilot here. It's funny, I swear. or clips here.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia starts up again nect week, too. So I'm gonna be writing a lot of TV stuff. and laughing. and probably feeling a little homesick.

on a good note, it's cooled down here considerably. Now all I gotta do is wait and laugh at you jerks during the Winter.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Lonesome George: Bangin!

and just so you don't start hating him just because he's too busy sexing it up outside of his species and not even bothering to wipe the food off his face, he's also got a little buddy:

My Melting Life

It was 109 degrees here yesterday. It's been over 100 for the past 4 days. I am not made for this. All I can do is sweat, and move as little as possible. Lizard mentality is what I've been reduced to. shit is just melting everywhere around me. I tried to write on this project I've been working on, but pretty much sat there hallucinating for an hour. I got less than 3 hours of sleep last night because even with the crappy A/C window unit on, it was too hot to sleep. I know that I won't mind this when it's December and I can wear shorts, but right now I just want to blow up the sun. so miserable.

In better news, I put together a mix. I was going to actually mix it and have it all on one track, but my patience was thin enough last night that I was just happy to have finished it. So there's that. It's mostly spaz-rock songs with a lot of clips. Hope you like it.

My Melting Life
"Grape Nuts and Chalk Sauce" - Blockhead
"No Need to Be Rude" - Black Hollies
"You've No Clue, Do You?" - King Creosote
"Serious" - Richard Hawley
"Easy Street" - Cheeseburger
"Hangers On" - Dan Sartain
"Wall of Death" - Dax Riggs
"No Regrets" - King Khan & the Shrines
"This Mic" - Special Ed
"LCD Soundsystem Vs. Franz Ferdinand
"You Made Me Like It" - 1990
"What Comes After the Blues" - Magnolia Electric Co.
"Rolling One Sun Blues" - Wooden Wand and the Sky High Band
"My Shadow" - Jay Reatard
"Maria Bartiromo" - Joey Ramone
"Ride On Josephine" - Bo Diddley
"Humble Me" - Sharon Jones & the Dap-Kings
"Bellies Are Full" - Portugal the Man
"Simmerin'" - Weston Prim and Backlash
"Miles From Nowhere" - Cat Stevens

Part 1
Part 2