Wednesday, January 30, 2008


okay, it's pretty common knowledge that Q-tips are bad for you, and that since 1997, so has Q-Tip. Forgive me for the terrible joke. I know how bad it is, but I was certain that the Kamaal the Abstract joke I had there would've gone considerably worse.
My problem is that I like q-tips. Does anybody actually not like using them? It takes 2 seconds and you know right away whether or not you've made an improvement*. For probably close to a decade now I've known what they can do to your ear canal, but this hasn't stopped me from just using them to clean my outer ear. I don't know how dangerous that is, but damned if I'm going to stop, despite the considerable damage to my hearing that's already been done. I wish I could just move on to ear drops and be done with it. Fact is, I own and use ear drops. But I hate them. I don't like lying on my side, I don't like intentionally dripping a cold liquid into my ear canal, and I don't like using a rubber bulb thingy to flush it out with water. Yes, there isn't ONE part of that process that I like.
"Well" I can hear you saying, "do you like having good hearing, Cotton? Do you like not being deaf?"
Oh, you smug bastards. my reply to this is to shout "shut up!" and run away crying. Suck on THAT, Kreskin.

*I know this is disgusting. It absolutely is. But I look, and I'm betting that you probably do, too. or that perverse little peek into a kleenex once you've blown your nose. But let's face it, keeping track of what comes out of your body is only slightly less important than keeping track of what goes into it. But then I've been known to drip fake blood in my ears in public to play jokes on my family, so who knows what runs though my head.

1 comment:

sarah said...

This post made me laugh out loud 3 times also Q-tips are bad for you? I had no idea (I'm telling you the truth). Damnit. I look at them too. Also, the people who tell you that they don't look are liars. LIARS! Who doesn't look? WHO?!