My laptop is broken right now (or at least the power cord is), so at least until the new one arrives, I'm stuck updating this thing from work, which is something I'm really not

Rebecca Clarren has an article out in Ms. magazine (?) on the sex and labor trafficking in this country, and holy shit. Anyone wanna buy me Ms. magazine for me so I can read this article? That looks fucking terrifying. I know what you're saying, "buy it yourself, cheapskate". Yeah, but the only thing that I find more embarrassing as a 30 year old man than buying Ms. magazine is, yep, buying High Times. I actually have a friend who used to buy porn all the time but would shoplift High Times because "that shit is embarrassing". Oh, and if that didn't have you weeping, how about the exploding sex trade in Iraq?

Oh, and Jose Padilla was just found guilty of all counts and will be sentenced in December.

After three-and-a-half years in military custody, Padilla was transferred to Miami to face charges in civilian court that did not include any allegations of a dirty-bomb plot or other U.S. attacks.

Pretty depressing post, right? I apologize for that. Go see Superbad this weekend, because I'm positive it will be funny. Last night I watched the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie. Don't make the same mistake.

Getty Museum

Karaoke news of the world

I wish I could've gotten like a panoramic shot of this, because right behind me when I took this is one of the biggest places to score meth on the west coast. California!

Link your face off

My brother, in a fit of kindness¹, recently bought two tickets to see the Beastie Boys play at the Greek Theatre. It really was a sweet gesture, and I’m starting to look forward to it to some great degree. I haven’t seen them since right after Hello Nasty was released –an album I didn’t particularly like- and I haven’t really looked back since then. But I probably saw them about ten times over the years, from tiny clubs to outdoor amphitheaters, and enough to blow off my senior week to see the first Tibetan Freedom Festival thingie. I don’t know if I felt like I grew out of their music or maybe I became a lot more interested in the influences that they wear so proudly on their sleeve², or even just found better rappers. But they’ve maintained a soft spot in my heart for making solid decisions and continuing to bring social injustice and overlooked pop oddities to the attention of a greater audience. So it should be a lot of fun.

So I’m gonna get to see them at the Greek, which I’ve always wanted to check out anyway. So yeah, some excitement is brewing. As if that wasn’t enough, I just got Go! Team tickets for Pomona, which will be interesting to say the least, considering when I picked up the tickets, the venue looked like it was in a DMZ.

In completely different news, here’s some links.

There’s both a meteor shower and a magical lunar eclipse coming up. I don’t usually go for the space nerd stuff, but these sound pretty cool and I usually get into crap like this right when I move to a new town. Go lie in a field at 3 AM on a Wednesday with a beer and a smile.

A giant Lego man washed up on the shores of the Dutch resort of Zandvoort. This is fucking awesome.

Apparently, the Army wrote a manual on how to do things correctly in Iraq 65 years ago. It’d be nice if we bothered consulting it before getting involved in this whole invasion thing.

Lastly, I wanted to post the last couple of days on how mad I am about this FISA thing getting pushed through. This is why I get angrier about the Dems than the GOP as of late. Because even when they win, they still manage to jam their thumbs so far up their asses that you can’t help but wonder why you listened to them to begin with. I can’t even put into words my frustration on this, and I think so far the Onion has summed it up best with

“You won't need to eavesdrop to hear this: I voted for you assholes because you said you were against shit like this.”

¹that’s not entirely true, he’s always kind. But this was especially kind and potentially motivated by the idea that life in California is not up to what we expected.

²off the top of my head, without the Beasties I would never have gotten into Schoolly D, Bad Brains, Vaughn Bode and Cheech Wizard, Biz Markie, demolition derbies, Wild Style, Buffalo Daughter, Beck, Money Mark, Puma Clydes, Buddhism, Tribe Called Quest, Company Flow, Minor Threat, Pirate Fuckin’ Radio, Jon Spencer, "Apache", Cibo Matto, Willie Bobo, Dolemite, Bob James, the Funky 4+1, Ricky Powell, Glen E. Friedman, the ABA, Lee Perry, Pato Banton, Lovebug Starski, Jimmy Smith, Coxsone Dodd, Mike Watt, Jabo Starks and Clyde Stubblefield, Spike Jonze, Charles Wright, Haze, the Moog, Booty Bass, Magilla Gorilla, Ladies And Gentlemen The Fabulous Stains, etc.. so their influence on me can't really be measured, especially when you count how many of the above items caused me to further seek new things. Seriously this list could probably go on for days. But I'm too tired of linking this shit to go on. Good to see that Wikipedia has an entry for Booty Bass, though.

Maybe some music later, but for now I need to get away from the computer. The above image is something that came up when I was google image searching the Fabulous Stains. Goddamnit I'd love to see that movie again.

So it's a pretty laid back day right now. My predecessor is leaving, and some time has been spent on a cart cruising around the garden. and now I'm updating this because it's almost happy hour and the only stuff I can do will take too damned long.
This morning, though, we were talking about the weather change out here and what I should expect when someone mentioned that in early November I should watch out on my walk into work because that's when the Tarantulas migrate. ha ha ha.
Turns out she was serious. There's a season where Tarantulas group up and migrate. I have to beware the giant, hairy, poisonous spiders on my walk to work. You have to be fucking kidding me.
i am freaking out.

You've Got a Friend in...

The other day at my new job, we had a tomato tasting. With 27 different kinds of tomatoes. My favorite? The Cherokee Purple. I'm hoping my new cell phone takes better pictures than my last one, but it's a piece of shit so we'll see.

I found a pretty neat site today that catalogues all of the license plates of the world and through history, which I find a lot more interesting than I probably should. On the drive out here I got to ruminate on the various license plates of our country, and I have to say they're all turning to complete shit. I thought it was bad enough when PA changed their simple, unassuming two-tone plates to a fucking promotion for the state's web site. Who has ever been sitting in traffic wondering "I sure love learning about the commonwealth of Pennsylvania and wish there was some sort of resource I could access from my home that could show me all sorts of interesting tax bylaws and municipal codes". I think if you've ever used the internet before in your life, you probably know how to find a state's site even without having to google it. I'd rather there was a state motto of "go fuck yourself" than a stupid web address. It's embarrassing. Look at this descent into suck:

But the thing is, it's happening all over the place. Does Nebraska really need a graphic on their place? Does anyone? This might be consistent with my fear of change and resentment of technology, but I really like the simplistic license plates that got us through the last century. Arizona doesn't actually need a picture of the Grand Canyon on it. That's what Uhaul trucks are for. If they're going to put any sort of picture on the Arizona license plate, it should be a rheumatic elderly man shaking his fist at flashing coeds at Lake Havasu. Or John McCain, which is slightly more hilarious. Remember the red and white one with the cactus? What the hell was wrong with that one? Anyways, it's interesting to see how impressive some states think they're being. I'm gonna try to apply for one of those old block text California plates, but something tells me that ain't gonna happen.
So here's some Cheeseburger, which gets a whole lot of Stooges comparisons, but I think they sound more the Dictators or something as fronted by Glenn Danzig. I'm actually surprised that I like them as much as I do, but I forgot about this album for awhile and completely loved listening to it on my way into work this morning. So here it is.

"Tiger" - Cheeseburger

"Melissa Brown" - Cheeseburger

Buy Cheeseburger here

I was going to mention earlier that I hadn't -aside from a few snippets of npr radio- heard or read any news for almost 3 weeks. Other than the Lohan thing that is. And I just read about this proposed massive arms giveaway in the Middle East and I'm fucking beside myself. Livid. Why have I learned about bullshit farmer subsidies that Pelosi negotiates, and Paris Hilton getting her inheritance taken away from her but not this? There is something fundamentally wrong with this. I'm going to go vomit and gouge my eyes out with dinner forks.
Good fucking luck.

Tomato tasting.

Salutations!

I am alive and well. I am living in California. I still feel like I'm borrowing someone else's life and might wake up asleep on the Blue Route any minute. I've got some new music and lots of "you know what's different about California from Pennsylvania?" observations comin' at ya! No, I'm not going to subject you to that. But I'll be able to update starting over the weekend, I hope.

a few hours after we moved here, I saw a sign saying that there was a free Mountain Goats in-store at the record shop a block away from my house. So it turns out he's from here and put on a great little show. It was probably the best welcome we could've asked for after a mild breakdown when we thought we were moving into a strip mall. Anyway, as a result I've been listening to lots of him. Anywho, more to come later.

P.S. The drive was fantastic. Pictures to come once I get internet access at home.

In May of 1739, Benjamin Franklin was taking a break from his duties as the writer, editor and publisher of Poor Richard’s Almanack (in addition to author, political theorist, politician, printer, scientist, inventor, civic activist, environmentalist, and diplomat) and thought he could benefit from a “frothy beverage and titillating company”. He soon found himself at a local pub, where he made notes:

‘Tis only natural that my portly trail leads to a neighborhood saloon whilst I am grant’d reprieve from press and quill. Yonder watering hole is ripe with cronies, and grants me the inebriation that grants, along with divine providence, the inspiration I so dearly need. Forsooth, it seems to invigorate my sense of duty, and provides me with sound nourishment. What can be more natural and easy than this? I might instance the like in many other particulars; but this may be sufficient to prevent our being taken for Conjurers. O the wonderful Knowledge to be found in the Stars! Even the smallest Things are written there, if you had but Skill to read. Thus, I shall stay here, and enjoy more ale before returning to thine own chores at hand with what only the Belgian kins referred to as “a buzz on”. Thus, let these beverages be known as liberty beers, and may they resound throughout this great land”.

So there you have it. Benjamin Franklin invented lunch beers. So stop questioning my patriotism already.

Howdy Gangsters!

more boxes, more phone calls, more remembering address changes I really need to make. Moving is a pain in the ass, and I don't care if you're moving to Shangri-goddamned-La, it's still gonna suck until you're on the road at the very least.
I'm getting close to that point every minute and hopefully by late monday night the packing and cleaning hell will be replaced with a traveling and hotel hell, followed by an unpacking (and maybe more cleaning) hell. It's a charmed life.
I'm pretty set on everything: book tapes, music, bottled water, shaved head for wind resistance... It's gonna be a fun drive. I think this'll be my last non-mobile post in a while, so try to bear with me, but I'll post what I can from the cell phone and have real photos.
I'm still terrified of not being able to find a good pizza place. I've been pounding fatty deli sandwiches and pizza all week and hoping the taste stays with me. It's so crazy to me to think of a place that doesn't have good pizza nearby, but then I thought every town had bagels until I was 19, so who knows.
Wish me luck, and I'm sure I'll be sending pics over here frequently out of sheer boredom, so bare with me.

I know it's not the right spelling.
Here's some songs that make me think of America. Also, when I return this bl0g will be renamed "Americatown". You've been warned.


"In the Ghetto" - Elvis Presley


"A Lucky Loser" - James Carr

oh, and go buy some shitty energy drink for your country.

Russian Space Dogs

okay, so when I say I've been packing all holiday off, I mean that I moved some shit into boxes and relaxed the rest of the afternoon. Torrential downpour outside, and we got to check out Ratatouille, which was great. It was funny, hearing Patton Oswalt in an animated-creature tone. Almost enough to make you lose an association with his usual hate-filled existence.

oh, and browsing the web tonight I stumbled across some "Family Ties" fan fiction and sitting around laughing at how pathetic that was, then got halfway through a script without even noticing it.

Thank you, Elmore James, for making America such a keen place.
"Coming Home" - Elmore James

Now I'm watching Gimme shelter and going to bed. good night moon.
Go check out Saber's website. and read about Russian Space Dogs.

shorn and further prepared for the move ahead. This picture looks much grosser than I'd like it to.