Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Anyone who's been on Columbus in the last ten years has noticed the SS United States. You know, the giant rusty tub of a cruise ship that's been docked on the Delaware since 1996. Anyway, there's been a lot of controversy over whether or not to rebuild this trip, since it still holds speed records (!) and was apparently some pretty hot shit in the early 50s.

The most fascinating thing about this to me is that this thing was moved as recently as 1996. I know that rust doesn't really affect whether or not a ship is seaworthy, but I actually shudder when I drive past it. I think at this point we should all accept that nobody's going to restore it and plan one of the following course of action:

Set it loose.

That's right. Just untie the fucker and give it a nudge out to sea. Let it roam the high seas as a ghost ship. Just like that movie Ghost Ship, only without Gabriel Byrne and you know, scary. I know what you're thinking:
"Cotton, that's completely wreckless and irresponsible. This ship could do untold damage if not properly maintained or disposed of. the shipping industry is too large and important to jeopardize with a massive rusty missile being pushed around the Atlantic".

Killjoy. You know what else you probably hate? Bumper Cars.

Fine then, we'll have to launch it into space. Who's gonna pay for that, huh?

Anyway, SS United States is a great google image search, and you can get a shockingly large view of it from above on maps. So yeah, there's that.

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