Tuesday, February 14, 2012


  I don't care about Valentine's Day. I never really have. It's not because I've been with someone for the better part of 12 years or that I was particularly lovelorn as a youngster, but just that it's a crock of shit. I'm fortunate that my wife feels pretty much the same way.

  I mean, what type of perverse monster would create a holiday that:
-makes people not involved in a relationship feel lonely
-needs to remind people in a relationship to celebrate their love
-artificially forces couples into new levels of commitment/hyperinflated affection?

  I don't like any holiday that gets people down, and I can't even entertain the notion that people aren't thinking about love (or even sex) often enough. As far as I'm concerned, we should be celebrating Arbor Day with more vigor than this bullshit. At least then people would plan some trees or something.

  If you're with someone who needs a February 14 to say "oh, right. I bet he or she would like some chalky candy and calendar-mandated sex!", you should probably rethink some things. This is hardly a new or unique opinion, but it is sincere nonetheless.

   So I don't know, enjoy the day. Go out and be with friends or spouses or cousins or whatever. Watch a movie not directed by Garry Marshall. or be miserable, for all I care. Just don't be miserable because of the date.

Full disclosure: I am cooking a very nice dinner for my wife tonight, but it has more to do with my butcher having Valentine's Day specials than anything else*. I might not be sappy enough to fall for a fake holiday, but I'll always be a cheapskate at heart. Plus, the fact that I'm sick and all of my head-holes feel packed with gauze means that it wouldn't be romantic if I was wielding a bow & arrow and wearing a diaper. Do you see how ridiculous this is!?

*If anything, I think we'll be celebrating the butcher store, which is one of my favorite places in southern California.

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