In which I attempt to comment live on the debate

So, I'm trying to juggle the Phillies game, the Pitt game, and the debate on top of downing something eerily similar to a Flaming Homer, but I'll try to get some stuff down while I'm watching this.

Gwen Ifill's upcoming book about black politics has caused many to say she'll be biased in this debate. In other news, many people are idiots. Gwen's a pro, and don't think for a second that she'll throw this either way. I, however, totally will.

Palin just asked "Do you mind if I call you Joe?". Are Governors not afforded the same right as other senators to refer to those in the senate by their first names? Damn, politics is CONFUSING.

9:06 PM Slow down, Joe. Don't read this off a card. Take your time, be at ease. You're not a good rigid person.

(Pitt, Phils are still up).

9:07 PM It took Palin 18 seconds to mention attending a kid's soccer game. Wait...she has kids?

9:09 PM The polarization question. Biden's being cool now. He's falling into a rhythm. "I think it's fair to say I've got as many friends in the credit card industry as I do in the Democratic half of the house, and those guys are practically Republicans. Palin, meanwhile, just cites McCain's work. and if she says the wor- never mind. She just said maverick. Can people stop referring to themselves as mavericks? Can we put some sort of moratorium on that?

Gwen Ifill calls them both on their bullshit. I love it.

9:13 PM I appreciate the attempts at being civil, but stop praising each other's running mates.

9:14 PM Joey Danko of Wilmington, DE. You just made the news!

9:15 PM Joe Six-packs don't say "darn".

meanwhile, it appears someone on Flickr tried to make their own Flaming Moe:


9:16 PM "That charge is not true". THANK YOU JOE BIDEN.

9:17 PM Palin doesn't care what the question is, she's straight talkin'. Are they still on the straight talk express? Didn't they crash that somewhere? I'm not being facetious.

9:17 PM Joe, please stop laughing. It's not going to help. Think really sad stuff if you have to, but don't laugh on camera.

Does anyone think that we can possibly lower taxes anymore while fighting two wars in a recession/depression?

9:20 PM Middle Class Palin. huh.

9:21 PM Do it, Joe. Poinjt out that McCain has had government run healthcare for his entire adult life. PLEASE, JOE.

9:23 PM "Ultimate bridge to nowhere". eh. close enough.

CHAR-AC-TER-IZED

ugh, shit. Is this whole debate gonna be these two idiots correcting each other?

9:27 PM 5 Weeks!!!!!!!

(Pitt is up 10. Nice)

9:29 PM Has Palin just gotten to know McCain just through his campaign ads? Just wondering...
PS I'm getting really tired of the "main street" euphemism.

9:32 PM "We're not giving oil companies tax breaks" - Sarah Palin. Scanning the audiotorium for hellfire, brimstone.

9:33 PM Global warming topic. I can take this time to go to the bathroom. Let me know when she pulls out a polar bear steak to eat at the podium.
"other countries that don't care as much about the environment as we do". So, you pretty much mean China, right? oh, and the tire-burning third world. Eat it, Somalia.

9:35 PM "That's why the polar ice cap is melting". I can't hear this phrase without thinking of Waterworld. Yeah, I think of that movie a lot.

9:36 PM "Drill. Drill. Drill." Dude, you're stealing Sarah's line!!!!!

9:36 PM Sarah corrects him. Who chants this at a rally?
Wait... is she from an energy producing state?

KLEEN KOLE

9:38 PM I like that subtle shift from the environment to gay marriage.

I'm glad she'd like to keep her religious beliefs out of the office. I really hope we never have a chance to see firsthand.

9:42 PM The vote to withhold funding from the war comes up. This is what I've been the most concerned about all day.

9:43 PM Okay, someone better string together a rambling stream of nouns pretty soon, or this debate is going to get BORING.

ooooooh "white flag of surrender" I take that back!


9:46 PM "Obama voted to cut off funding"
9:46 PM "So did John McCain!"
9:46 PM "Barack did not support our troops"
9:46 PM "John McCain voted the exact same way on that bill!"
Clearly, this is gonna get solved tonight.

9:48 PM Pakistan.....

okay, they really should've shotgunned those beers before the debate. I just wanna go back on what I said earlier.

9:49 PM SHE SAYS NUCULAR TOO!!!!!

9:50 PM The Castro Brothers sounds like a comedy troupe. Someone get on that.

"Henry Kissinger's passion for diplomacy" and starving people. and burning them alive.

9:52 PM Biden again states "that's not true". This is long overdue.

(Pitt 17, USF 14)

9:53 PM Take that Spain, hahaha!

Israel.

9:55 PM Biden brings up that Palestine's elections never go the way we want them to. Palin is proud they both love Israel.

It's a damn shame that Olmert had to wait until he was forced to resign to state that Israel should withdraw back to the '67 borders. Thanks for that, man. Next time, try not to be so corrupt.

jeez, this is a lot of typing. I still gotta do my maths tonight.

9:58 PM There it is again, "nucular" it's almost cute.

10:05 PM I swear he just said "Bosniacs"

it would be AWESOME if Sen. Dick Lugar (R-IN) floated down from the rafters right now...

"It's so obvious that I'm a Washington outsider". See, if Biden said something this smarmy, people would jump down his fucking throat. I think "straight talk" should be taken away from the McCain campaign. Starting, like, a year ago.

10:08 PM this is like watching two people argue with two separate walls.
Biden's brain must be fighting SO hard to keep his eyes from rolling back into his skull.

you know how you can tell these answers are all pre-rehearsed? because they don't answer like ANY of the questions.

10:11 "Team of mavericks"? That's an oxymoron, right? RIGHT? It would've been awesome if Gwen Ifill just asked this question of Palin. "So, McCain don't look so good...."

10:12 PM Main Street, Wasilla
10:13 PM I wish Biden coulda said like Fred's Hardware and not Home Depot, but I guess Fred probably works at Home Depot there.

"Say it ain't so, Joe? Doggonit?" What the hell?
I would respect Palin more for just dropping an F bomb right about now.

"Your wife is a teacher, and god bless her for that, her reward is in heaven"
holy shit.

10:16 PM Wait, she wants MORE authority given to the VP?
10:17 PM Isn't Biden like the poorest member of the Senate? I think I red that somewhere.

10:21 PM oooooh, she just said kitchen table......

"you've been very kind, saying my only Achilles heel is my lack of discpline, others would point out my chronic drinking"
just kidding, Joe. You're all aces.

10:22 PM I'm thinking I have to go see Springsteen in Philly on Saturday, of only to see if he plays "Born in the U.S.A." Sorry, it just sorta came to me.

MAVERICK! How can both sides tout change so much? Is down gonna be up from now on? Are we finally gonna legislate Backwards Day? SWEEEEEEET

10:24 PM I wish the camera had just panned out to show Joe Lieberman out in the crowd, a single tear rolling down his cheek. Then, he'd mouth "I love you" to Sarah Palin.

10:25 PM Biden calls out this maverick bullshit. Is it perhaps that this maverick is perhaps.........................A GOOSE?
sorry, that'll be my only Top Gun-themed joke. ever. Really, that was bad.

LAST QUESTION: WHAT WOULD YOU GO BACK AND CHANGE?
Will Palin say charging victims for rape kits? Doubtful.

10:30 PM Biden just dropped a Helms Bomb!

10:31 PM Sarah keeps mentioning her wildly diverse family. Duuuude, I hope this might lead to a 2008 Billy Carter. Well, not really. But it'd be kinda fun.



10:33 PM losing statements
Someone run that "we'll fight for the middle class" thing by me again later.

Biden is humble, and sincere. But I don't know about charismatic. "..and selfishly, god bless our troops". The 'selfishly' might have been a little too much, Joe.

AAAAAAND IT'S OVER

so, in the end, it was exactly what I was expecting. Pointed, and with the occasional sharp jab thrown in there, but nobody broke down, nobody got arrogant. No clear winner. The wink was settling, and there were a few solid talking points, but nothing worth staring at this and typing for 2 hours for. or reading this nonsense that I just wrote. God, I hope someone read it as I did it, because otherwise, it's reaaaally stupid. Oh, hell, it's stupid anyway.

I'm watching Joe and Sarah shake hands right now and I'm not going to bother to read lips, but I'm sure it's friendly. and now the families are out. So I'm wondering, did Bristol drop out of school? Because she's been on the campaign trail, along with "her" baby. Of course, the campaign trail is a fantastic place to raise a baby.

Okay, I'm tired, and I am going to have another cough syrup and whiskey and then read some geometry and then watch Always Sunny and then go to bed. Good night, people. Go voting.

and now Pat Buchanan is talking about how attractive she is.

it should be pointed out while I was writing this, I found several wildly conservative blogs and commented RON PAUL '08 BABA BOOEY BABA BOOEY

Written live, during the VP debate, 10/2/08 with no post-editing.