Slightly fictionalized accounts of real conversations in my life.

I enter the corner store down the street, totally covered in sweat and out of breath. The girl behind the counter looks at me as I thunk some beer on the counter.

Girl: Are you okay?
Me: (huffing): Yeah... I'm fine. I just ran home from work.
Girl: in that? (indicates my wool sweater, jeans)
Me: Yup.
Girl: Are you... late for something?
Me: Nope. Just... running.
Girl: You should get like a running outfit. It's a lot easier.
Me: Pffft. What's the point in that? What are the odds of someone chasing me while I'm sitting around wearing dinky shorts?
Girl: What?
Me: I'm gonna run in the clothes I usually wear. If I get chased around in one of those little outfits, I'd be better off letting them overtake me and murder me.
Girl: Do you get chased by murderers a lot?
Me: No, but I'm one small step towards being prepared when I am.
Girl: There's other reasons to run, you know.
Me: Listen lady, I'm not chasing anyone. I don't murder. You must be thinking of someone else.
Girl: No, like getting in shape?
Me: Now you're just being naive.


not exactly how it went, but it would've been a lot funnier if it was.
oh, also I was carrying a giant thermos.