I dropped the cable box off yesterday. We've been without cable for 10 days, and thus able only to watch network and furniture commercials in Spanish. and the documentary about Alzheimer's that I'm staring at wide eyed in fear.
It's like a mix of terror and sadness being pumped through a feeding tube.
oh god.
I can't even keep the sound on. The sound of traffic and my clicking and clacking fill the apartment.
This is not very typical of me. normally I go as so far out of my way as possible in order to avoid something like this.
and yet.
here I am.
"cotton, why don't you turn it off. Read a book! write something. Join a softball league with lax expectations."
shut up.* I'm watching this horrific program until I feel the urge to go on a severely misguided mercy killing spree, and then I'm going to have a glass of milk and go to bed.
oh man this is painful.
Anyway, my major concern with this is that I become one of those dinks that talk about how they don't watch TV. I still watch TV. It's just a pain in the ass now. Anyway, I hope this is the last you hear about it.


after writing through most of last night.
and planning on writing through all of tomorrow night.
I stared at the screen for a half hour and then gave up to pet the cat and close my eyes. Then dinner. Then the Thai place, now I'm back here and too tired to do anything but sit here and tell myself I need to sleep.
Which I'm doing now.